"It doesnt matter"

eventho aku tatawu pon ape yg aku patut tulis utk entry mggu ni, still wanna write something jgak.
first and foremost, hari raya pon da abes. and yesterday was the last open house aku pgy, it was at my frens place, and awesome guys.
and the 2nd house was at mana tah Metraville. rumah MAS punya CEO rasanya. besa gila and damn the laksa johor was very delicious.
hahaha.
makan makan makan. gemuk lah aku
hurmm..thers something that been running thru my mind during this weekend.
remember that yg aku pena btaw pasal housemate aku yg tatawu lah kenapa ngn dia.
and aku dapat la tawu from my other housemate yg macam rapat jgak la dgn dia.
die story2 la kt aku..
ade org cakap, die mmg tak ngam aku.
sebab aku dia taknak balik rumah.
yg aku terkejut, dari kolej lg die tak ngam ngn aku.
oh wth.
since aku tawu aku masuk group rumah ni pon last minute kan.
aku tade grup. aku join..tade bantahan pon.
aku tak kesah kalau ada org taknak aku join, tp sila lah bersuara.
aku tak kesah. seriously aku tak.
and tak payah la hipokrit sgt buat2 macam tade pape ngn aku, tak payah la jd rumate aku kalau kau dah tak suka aku kan.
ape masalah?
ada suara,
ada mulut,
CAKAP.
pening
kusut
aku nk buat apa?
aku diam la since die pon tak cakap ape2.
ini cerita org. takkan aku nk pecaya bulat2.
so fr the time being, aku akan DIAM.
bukan tanda aku stuju, tp LANTAK KAU LAH.
org laen tade masalah pon ngn aku.
kenapa kau yg ada masalah.
and aku bukan jenis yg suka DIAM2 ni.
Eff.You.See.Kay.
spell it.

what i felt..

i've been thinking bout her.
i've been stalking is fb profile.
she seems happy.
i'm glad.
i'm over it, but sometimes,
i miss her.
and how wish i cud love her more.
re do what i did in the past.
stick with her.
make her smile everyday.
wont let a single drop of tear come out from her eyes.
give her everything. that i thought i already did. but the fact is, nothing.
after what she did, i still..still..have this tiny piece of heart that wanted to tell her how much i love her.
and how i wish i could prevent her from leaving me.
i'm the most simple minded guy u ever met,
i know i have nothing much to offer,
i dont have money,
i may not have the gentleness that u want.
i'm fragile.
i have a small heart.
that beat very fast whenver
you touch me,
u stare at me,
u hold my hands,
u smile at me,
and the day i lost u, was the day i lost everything.
and i'm giving up on love.
i could never ever love anyone else after u.
i tried, but i cant.
before anything happen, i make it stop.
because i cant.
and i cant.
and will never be.

this is me.
i love you.